Scribner’s was eager to have this book written, and a co-author had already been chosen before I came onto the project. (Which I didn’t know at the time I was asked to interview with Leonard.) He came away from our meeting with the opinion that I was the guy he wanted. I’m extremely glad he did. This book set a high standard for the personal coaching field, drew great reviews, and was subsequently re-packaged for a 2007 release as The 28 Laws of Attraction.
Thomas J. Leonard has been called “the Vince Lombardi of the Personal Coaching movement.” He was also quite a fountain of ideas. As we wrote this book together, the process spurred him to evolve several new concepts. The challenge of crafting this book was to create organization, to make the material as easy to assimilate as it is enlivening. The solution was a framework of 28 Steps. They included such features as checklists for self-measurement, Top Ten lists, and sidebars highlighting key distinctions between similar concepts. This book is pretty much the bible of the coaching profession, and has also been released in a Japanese edition.
Following this sample passage you will find excerpts from reviews.
From Step 16, Show Others How to Please You.
There are two parts to the act of showing others how to please you. First, let people know what makes you happiest. Don’t make them guess. Second, educate people on what you require of them to please you.
Both are different; each is highly important.
It’s only fair that the people in your life be told whether you’re talking about something you really like or about something you really need from them (as an employer might, for example). The more you can embrace being incredibly selfish, the easier it will become for you to accurately voice what you like, what you want, what you truly need from others. Your being selfish, you see, is really beneficial to the relationships of your life — and to all the people they encompass. No more need for withdrawal and brooding. No more “If he/she REALLY cared, they’d understand that…”
When people are shown how to please you, they’re usually going to be very happy that all the agonizing guesswork has been removed — just as you would be if they were equally direct. And if, somehow, they realize that they can’t do the things that please you, then everyone is free to reformulate their relationships — instead of waiting for toxic levels of resentment to build.
As a coach, I’ve spoken with people who offered up some very deep revelations about their lives and their relationships. I’ve come to the conclusion that most disruptions occur when one or more people in a relationship — whether it’s based on business or on love — start feeling their wants and needs aren’t respected. Because those people eventually start thinking how unfair that is and, by damn, how much they’ve got a right to grab whatever or whoever they can in order to get what they’ve got coming.
In a sense, they’re perfectly right. But among people skilled in showing others how to please them, there are much fewer disruptions, more satisfaction, and — when change is called for — more graceful transitions.
As a financial adviser, Leonard realized that more than anything else, he was a career counselor, confidant, and therapist to his clients. So he founded a movement to help people attain what they want through special coaching,and an institution called Coach University to provide the coaches.
Leonard shares wonderful insights into how to live a self aware and fulfilling life. The layout is systematic and there is great depth and application tools with nearly every section.
The key notion in his strategy is to make oneself more attractive by living a fulfilling life. Rather than `strive’ and `hard sell’ your way to success, his method is more along the lines of taking the path of least resistance – that by being aware and sensitive to oneself and one’s environment, you create an attitude of mind where living and success becomes almost effortless.
I’ve probably bought about 100 books in the self-improvement category in the last fifteen years. About ten of those books are ones that really changed my thinking and my life. This book is one of the ten.
The book also suggests plenty of practical steps you can do immediately to begin seeing results.
This is a very impressive work! I’ve worked as a personal development trainer (Dale Carnegie and NLP) in the past and found this book to deliver more than it promises. You could read a ton of self-help books by a variety of well-known authors and easily not come away with half the high-quality material that is in this straight-forward book.
I really become inspired when reading this book and I quote it all of the time with my clients. This book gives plenty of details to help you create a life that is easier, more carefree and abundant with happiness. I really admire the genius of Thomas Leonard.
This book is better than most all self-help books combined. Mine is marked up, underlined, dogeared … well-loved. The book really is a portable coach. It’s a portable therapist, too.